You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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