So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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