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• (510): View more from California

  called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?

  (1-510): View more from California

  you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  he said i ruined lesbian porn for him

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• (386): View more from Florida

  Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.

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• (509): View more from Washington

  Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you

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• (626): View more from California

  My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,

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• (650): View more from California

  You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  I feel like I have a very capable uterus.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet

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• (213): View more from California

  I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.

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• (620): View more from Kansas

  He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.

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