You smell like a Billy Joel song
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
