My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
