Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
