Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
