She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
