I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
