I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
