You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
