He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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