On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
