You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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