he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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