Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
