they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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