I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
this will be a night to untag.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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