i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
