Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
