i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Randomize
