There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize