toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
