She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Oh god it's open bar.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize