She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
