My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
