shes about as inviting as chlamydia
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
