I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He passed out mid-signature
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
me + whiskey = a bad person
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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