The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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