I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
