Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
