I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize