You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
