I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
