Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
