She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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