Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I smell stomach acid.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
