Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
