totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
