You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
