I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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