It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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