I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
