spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
