Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
