My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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