just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Im part way to drunk.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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