Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
