respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
