i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
