Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
