Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
