Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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