I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
