I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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