Jerry, you need to find god
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
