I look better un-naked...
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
