Too much gin, very little bucket
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Randomize