i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
