fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Randomize
