Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
