I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
