I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
ttyl tear gas
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
