Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
It was like giving head to a cactus.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You ruined the universe
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
