Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
