he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
