The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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