Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
