Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I'm at about main and main street
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
