My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
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