we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
