I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
