Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
