I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
