I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
