You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I accidentally had phone sex last night
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
