dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
